To Be Useful
by Lady Avarice
Summary: Buffy found out about the lie, Angel's back and... well... Xander always wanted to be useful.


AN: This is a bit of an experiment for me. If I get enough positive reviews I'm thinking of maybe making a series. Productive criticism is welcomed. Flames will be laughed at.

* * *

Enjoy.

He lied to her.

He _lied_ to her.

He was going to regret it.

He was going to pay.

She'd make sure of it.

* * *

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

He wasn't getting burned or beaten anymore.

But it still –hurt-.

Where was he?

He couldn't remember anything clearly, save the pain.

_Have to find…. something_.

Find what?

_Have to find it. It's important_.

Where…?

Danger. Danger was close.

"Angel?"

Who was that? Why was she looking at him like that?

"Angel? Please, say something?"

He could hear her; kind of understand her, but not really. When was the last time he'd used his voice for something other than screaming?

"Angel?"

She was coming towards him and he could see the weapon in her hand. Snarling he tried to run.

Then there was a pain in his skull and blackness followed.

* * *

I'm not going to apologize.

I know I did the right thing.

I know I did!

Even if it hurts.

I can't really put my happiness above the rest of the world, can I?

Still…

_I'm sorry, Angel. So fucking sorry!_

* * *

_He'sbackhe'sbackhe'sback!!_

She'd had that litany stuck in her head since she'd found him, dazed and half naked in the cemetery.

He was a mess though. Covered in bruises and cuts and dirt. She'd washed him off as best she could while he was out before shackling him to the cellar walls. He had been so confused and disoriented she was worried that he'd run out into the sunlight and dust himself.

_And I don't want Xander to get a chance to stake him while he's so confused_.

That hurt. The complete lack of recognition in his face. Like he didn't know her at all.

_He'll remember when he's all better_.

And he'd need the good stuff, human blood to heal up right. She knew just where to get him fresh blood too.

…_Well he always wants to help…_

* * *

A sleeping teen was woken up by a ringing near his head. Synapses finally firing correctly he realized his phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

"Xander?"

"Hey Buff, what's up?"

He was instantly awake. She'd been treating him like a leper for the better part of… well always but now it was definitely more pronounced.

"Hey Xand, I wanted to apologize for being such a dumb blonde lately. Could you meet me up by the old playground?"

"Sure, when?"

"Tomorrow like an hour before sunset? Well, later today now I guess. Forgot it's past midnight. Ohno! I didn't wake you up, did I?"

He smiled a bit. This was the Buffy he knew and loved.

"Don't worry about it. I was actually slumped over waiting for the wash to finish. You helped me avoid a literal pain in the neck."

He couldn't hold back the smile he got from hearing the girl on the other end giggle.

"Ok Xand. See you then?"

"Yeah. Later Buff. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Pfft, I'll stake 'em first."

"That's my girl. G'night Buffy."

"Night Xand."

Maybe, just maybe, his luck was finally changing.

* * *

"Angel? Sweetie?"

Her again. The dangerous one. The one that made him growl without really knowing why.

She touched his shoulder and he flinched away, snarling from behind curled arms.

"I'm sorry. It'll be ok though. I'm going to go get you food. Good food that'll make you better."

He still didn't understand her babbling, or why she kept watching him.

He couldn't get away, couldn't break the chains or tug the bolt loose. He just didn't have the strength.

He could remember something about her now though.

She had stabbed him. Sent him to that place full of pain and screaming.

She was not to be trusted.

* * *

Sounds of fighting drifted up from near the entrance to the playground. She'd planned it that way, having to show up late because Mom demanded mother-daughter time after dinner before letting her out to see her friends. He'd been _so_ understanding and said he'd come anyway. It would be just only after sunset and she'd have told him if there were any vamps nearby so it was perfectly safe.

The small nest of vampires she'd found the other day were an added bonus. They thought she hadn't seen them, but really they were just convenient.

She'd stake them after they'd done some of her work for her.

When she deemed it time to show up it was to the scene of her 'friend' getting pummeled against the side of a Climbing Joe. There were three less vampires than she'd counted before. Huh, survival must be a good motivator.

Springing into action she dusted the remaining vamps before they could do more than shout in alarm.

Tucking her stake back in the waistband of her jeans she turned to inspect her 'friend'. The vamps had gotten in some decent shots. He was developing a nice bruise on one cheek and it looked like he'd have a set of bruised ribs if the way he was clutching his side was any indicator. She couldn't smell much blood, just a few scratches here and there.

Good.

"Wow, thanks Buff. That one was getting ready to give me on hell of a hickey."

The expected laugh or slight put down never came.

"Buffy?"

Slowly he straightened and turned to face her, confusion clean on his bruised and tired features.

"Xand?"

"Yeah?"

"You never should have lied to me."

Eye widening in realization he didn't even have time to try to dodge as her fist met the side of his head.

He was unconscious before he hit the ground.

* * *

_Stupid fledges. There should be some stuff in here I can take for Angel_.

The Slayer rooted through the small amount of things the nest had horded. All told she found some bags of blood, reasonably fresh, and a decent amount of cash. She grinned when she found something that would really help her out.

_Stupid jerk. I hope he doesn't make Angel sick_.

The vamps hadn't had any rope. Not like they kept what they caught, but there were plenty of shredded bits of cloth. Nothing that could hold a Slayer, but they were strong enough to hold a teenage boy.

He was just starting to come around when she got back, groaning and trying to get up.

She stopped that with a kick to the ribs.

Nothing broke, but the bruises certainly made it hurt. All that she cared about was that now he was still while she tied his hands behind his back and gagged him. She didn't want anything trying to steal what she'd gotten her Angel.

Yanking him to his feet she started marching him towards the old mansion.

Angel would be better soon.

* * *

He startled slightly where he was curled against the wall. The floor was cold and he so wanted a blanket or anything that would let him keep what little heat he had.

He started growling softly at the ends of his chains. He wanted to get away from her, but he couldn't. After a few moments where she just stood there he finally noticed the other figure. He was bruised, beaten, and barely conscious.

"Here you go. All fresh just for you."

With that she shoved the other one forward, making him trip over his own feet and crash to the ground, his skull hitting the ground with a loud crack.

His stomach clenched almost painfully from the sudden scent.

Blood.

Fresh, _human_ blood.

Keeping his eyes locked on her he slowly crawled towards the boy, still crouched to attack if she got any closer. He was a bit surprised when she took a step back instead but didn't show it. Grabbing a fistful of the boy's shirt he dragged him back, closer to his corner. Now he was practically washed in that scent, some odd mix that reminded him of greenwood, sunlight and licorice. A low rumble built in his chest as he pulled the dazed boy into his lap, licking at the small trickle of blood coming from his forehead. There was something deeply familiar about this blood…

Letting his thoughts roam he tucked the boy closer, tilting his head and laving at his neck, getting the skin ready for the bite.

* * *

God, how could he have been so foolish?

His head was spinning, barely letting him stumble along as Buffy yanked him towards the old Crawford place.

She was probably going to kill him there, it was all too easy to imagine now.

He'd barely made it down the steps to the cellar, having to catch himself against the wall more than once. He'd only just started getting his vision clear again when she shoved him forwards, stars dancing in front of his vision as his skull connected with the floor.

The sensations of being moved, tugged into a possessive hold were faint, barely registering. His brain finally started to work again when he felt something rough and damp at his neck. Forcing his eyes to focus he caught a close up glimpse of too-pale skin, the rumble in the thing's chest registering as well. Then that rough, damp thing was back.

And he realized there was no warmth in the skin his face was being pressed against, no heartbeat in the chest. Managing to pull back slightly he caught a look at the vamp's face and nearly passed out again from the sheer shock.

Even in game-face he could recognize Angel.

_Stupid, stupid Xander! God forgive me._

Making a few soft protesting noises in the back of his throat he squirmed, the biggest struggle he could put up just then.

The only thing it seemed to accomplish was the vampire holding him closer and rumbling louder. He couldn't help but shudder as he ran his rough tongue over his neck again, feeling him place his fangs for a bite. Felt the skin of his neck tingle a bit and numb before pressure and a pop, warm blood flowing out the twin wounds and down Angel's throat.

Buffy said something then walked away, leaving him in the clutches of a vampire that had tried to kill them both only a few short months before.

Lightheadedness came quicker than he expected considering how slowly the vampire was drinking. Before he passed out he could have sworn the vampire started rubbing circles on his back, almost trying to comfort him.

What a laughable idea.

* * *

She smiled, glad Angel seemed to like his treat.

"Eat up, Angel. I'll be back tomorrow night with some fresh blood bags for you."

Grinning she practically bounced out of the old mansion.

She'd managed to get her revenge against Xander and help her boyfriend get better. Now there was multitasking!

Grinning and giggling she skipped home, happily slaughtering any demons that came her way with a smile on her face.

The demons of Sunnydale were more frightened of the Slayer than ever.

The purr in his chest grew as she left, leaving him with the boy.

He knew now.

_This_ is what he'd been searching for when he came back.

_This_ is what was so important to him.

The blood was rich and warm, almost intoxicating. He drank slowly, wanting to savor what he could take.

He wasn't about the drain him, not now that he'd found him again.

No, he was going to take good care of him.

Keep him.

He could feel the boy slipping, the looseness in his muscles as he started to fall unconscious. The scent of fear and deep sorrow was wafting off him.

A vague memory came up and he started to rub circles on the boy's, no _Xander's_, back to comfort him. He could feel him relaxing slightly on his own before he went completely limp, unconscious.

He only swallowed another two mouthfuls before pulling back from Xander's neck, laving the bite with his tongue to make the small wounds seal.

His human façade slipped back once he was done.

Lucid again he looked at the boy in his arms and the chains coming from his wrists to the wall. Growling he yanked hard, shattering the links.

He remembered everything now.

Angelus. Acathla. Xander. The portal.

Hell.

He'd never seen someone look so broken as Xander had that day, watching from the stairs as he was sucked into the portal.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.

Xander had done the right thing.

And Buffy had condemned him for it.

Cradling the fragile body he rose to his feet, starting up the stairs.

He had a lot to do before they left.

They weren't staying here to suffer the whims of a delusional, bratty teenage girl. He had to take care of a few things to make sure she wouldn't look for them when they left.

Technically he shouldn't have been healed, let alone this strong for weeks yet.

But Xander's blood had sparked something in him, given him more strength than he'd had in centuries.

After all, a vampire was always that much stronger when protecting their mate.


End file.
